Per Welcome Period Topic & Residence/PSO
Feedback from Aurora
The most challenging part was getting the kids to take part in everything considering how shy engineering students usually are.But we tackled it as a team and they developed confidence through working together and taking part.
Feedback from Capri
The most challenging part for me was stepping out of my comfort zone and engaging with so many new people. I would like to have talk to more people with more comfort and enthusiasm. Prospective mentors shouldn't be afraid to take on the challenge of being a mentor and stepping out of your comfort zone what ever that may be.
Feedback from Oude Molen
The only major challenge this year was the covid aspect due to the fact that it make some interactions slightly awkward. My advice for future mentors is to be up for constructive criticism and to be as friendly as possible as it makes it easier for conversations and relationships to start.
Feedback from Nerina
I feel my emotions very deeply I tend to try to analyze exactly what it is that I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it and whilst this is a good thing to be able to do I sometimes find myself struggling as this sort of self-reflection can tend to consume me. It was through this experience of being a mentor that I fully realised just how much other peoples' pain/ emotions affect me personally. I try to put myself in their shoes in order to sympathise with them as much as possible as I want to understand them as well as their actions/behaviour better. Whilst I believe this is still one of my greatest strengths (my ability to sympathise with someone) it has the potential to be one of my weaknesses too as I need to accept that I cannot make every thing better for every one- and that because I am someone who feels very deeply if I take on said emotions and hard-ships it may lead to me being emotionally exhausted (which obviously is not a good thing for my mental health nor for those around me as one cannot pour from an empty cup so to speak). In terms of what I would do differently I do not think that there is anything I would change- I believe that everything happens for a reasons and I grew a lot through this experience and so there is nothing I would want to change about it.In terms of advising prospective mentors I would say be raw be real and be open. You cannot expect your mentees to be vulnerable with you if you have yet to be vulnerable with them- building a relationship is a two way street and it is important that you share with them about yourself/what matters to you before expecting them to trust you with what is on their heart.
Feedback from Equite
The most challenging part about being a mentor is being able to accommodate everyone's time schedule. This is because despite most of them being in the same degree programme the lessons still differed and thus finding a suitable time for a session was very complicated. Multiple times myself and my mentor partner were scrambling back and forth trying to find a time and day to accommodate the majority of people. I would reach out more to my mentees telephonically over the phone if they could not attend meetings and be more open to the idea of virtual meetings. I advise prospective mentors to be open about the idea of virtual meetings and not to take it personal if a lot of the mentees cannot attend the session. I would advise the mentor comming up with dates and times as early in the year as possible to optimise planning to help with attendance.
Feedback from Nemesia
I gained some mentees after the welcoming period. This was challenging because it meant that they were not part of the welcoming program and the sessions set for mentees and mentor to get to know each other. It took a lot more intentionality and time to get to know these mentees and that was challenging because of different schedules. I definitely could've worked harder in this area. I would advise future mentors to make sure there is space and flexibility in their schedules for these mentees.
Feedback from Nemesia
I think it is always challenging being a mentor. As mentors we work with people and no one is the same and we have to find a way to connect with everyone to realize what they need to feel welcome in Nemesia. I also wished I planned more activities to do with my mentees. I was also scared in the beginning that they would not like me. For prospective mentors I would say just be yourself. find ways to talk to your mentees in a way that makes you comfortable and them as well. If that means you have to have more individual session so be it.
Feedback from Lydia
Most challenging was definitely managing social distancing and at the same time building trust relationships. For almost the whole welcoming period we had our masks on when we were interacting with the newcomers and it was difficult to see all the social ques. If I can do something differently I would like to communicate with the mentees before the newcomers come to campus just to get to know them and to answer all of their questions. I know at that point we do not know in which mentor groups they will be but if we can have a mentor-mentee communication channel where they can ask general questions that would really improve the mentor-mentee relationships. I would advise prospective mentors to be yourself and not force a relationship. Some relationships will take more time to form and you should not feel guilty about that.
Feedback from Equite
The most difficult aspect of being a mentor was time management. When speaking about time management I do not mean making time for my mentees but them making time for me. I often felt isolated in my mentoring journey in that they didn't reply or read my messages which I consistently sent to the group or replied to my mentor session suggestions. Giving advice to the new mentors I would say that they should not be anxious about things that they cannot control (which I often did) and that they should not blame themselves. No matter how much effort which you put in as a mentor I believe that it is the job of the mentees to be willing to accept your help which you give them and you cannot do more than you should.
Feedback from Hippokrates
The most challenging part about being a mentor was realising that you cannot pour out from an empty cup. I realised that I needed to really make sure that I was okay and sane before trying to take control of someone else's life and try assist them in growing. It was coming to terms with the fact that before I save someone else I've got to save myself. What I would do differently is definitely checking up on myself a whole lot more making sure that I am good in every sense of the word holistically meaning that spiritually physically mentally and socially because that sort of energy manifests itself in many forms. If you stable then you can be a much better mentor. Advice to prospective mentors: Life is unpredictable and I have come to realise that happiness is just a mind state it is not about what you have or achieve. So look within meditate pray sing shout dance do whatever makes you HAPPY because by so doing you will be a much better mentor.
Feedback from Equite
The hardest thing was connecting with some of my mentees because I have made so many efforts of trying to reach out to them but they are always busy and I get that as private accommodation students they have the best platform to socialize with a lot of different people and it is always exciting to meet new people. I will try my best to just ensure that I build a better connection with the mentees who communicate with me and try to be more understanding and give them space to also grow and figure things out on their own because I tend to always want to help them with everything :) My advice would be to promote independent thinking towards their mentees and to also spend a lot of time connecting with them during welcoming and mentorship is so rewarding because you get to learn and grow so much as you meet different people from different walks of life so they should grasp every opportunity there is to learn from their mentees and from themselves. Mentorship promotes self-awareness as you work with different people and so you get to learn a lot about yourself one thing I learned about myself was that I tend to overdo it as I always want to help solve my mentees problems I did not know when to let them figure things out on their own until a friend of mine who is also a mentor pointed it out so I learned that about myself and reflected a lot on what works for me as a leader and as a person. I enjoyed every moment of my mentorship term and got to meet my wonderful mentees whom I am super grateful to have met through mentoring I would do it all over again if I had a chance to :)
Feedback from Nemesia
I am a very talkative lively person and some of my mentees were more shy and private. I struggled to truly get to know them / form a bond with them. But I did do my best to make sure they feel loved and welcomed.
Feedback from Nemesia
I am a very talkative lively person and some of my mentees were more shy and private. I struggled to truly get to know them / form a bond with them. But I did do my best to make sure they feel loved and welcomed.
Feedback from Equite
The most challenging thing was getting the mentees to participate in the Equite events/meetings most of them showed no interest in non-academic activities.Prospective mentors should not put too much pressure on themselves when mentees are not engaging but that's obviously after doing all the best they could. They should also try collaborating with other mentors.
Feedback from Equite
During this pandemic the mentees were reluctant to take part in activities and it was challenging getting the numbers to show up and participate. My advise would be you are not there for yourself it is nice having the mentor title and everything but you're there for the newcomers. Your kind smile and willingness to help them sets their minds at ease. You are there to help them with the transition and to give them first hand advise from personal experiences. Be the person that helps a newcomer pop their shy bubble and make friends. Be there to help give them the full orientation week experience and make memories with them. Don't be afraid to go speak to random newcomers because they are definitely more shy and overwhelmed at that moment then you are as a mentor. Be kind always you never know what somebody is going through. If I could do this all again I would definitely speak to as many newcomers as possible and get to know a lot more of them then I did. There are so many faces and so many people don't stick to the same people spread your greetings and let them know that you are there for them.
Feedback from Osler
I think the most challenging part of being a mentor was finding suitable times to have discussions especially since it was lockdown. We could not have face-to-face discussions past Welcoming week during the year as my year was not allowed back on campus yet so finding times that suited everyone was slightly challenging given that nearly all of our interactions were online.We used Whatsapp to communicate which was largely effective however everyone wpuld respond at different times - sometimes days later than the initial message was sent. This meant that the conversation could become disjointed and the solution to one issue could be spread out over several days instead of just discussed in one sitting. Online communication also relies on people participating and some of my mentees were shy which made things slightly challenging as you cannot force someone to talk - especially online where they can just ignore the messages.For future mentors I think also using Whatsapp groups would be useful however I think having a regular schedule for group discussions should be organised from the start if you know that communication will take place online. I would have done that differently as I think having a more regular schedule would have made communication easier.
Feedback from Nemesia
I think the most challenging part is organising mentor sessions. I had 8 mentees and therefore they all had different schedules that I had to accommodate.I would say that it is important to organise a mentor session with your mentees long before the time so they all are aware of it and can make it.I also think it is important to make an effort with your mentees and get to know them individually. For me this was difficult because first years were continuing to come in to res throughout the year which meant I continuously had mentees that I had to get to know. I think its just important to make time for them and have at least one chat sessions with each of them.
Feedback from Silene
The most challenging part of being a mentor this year was definitely the curve balls covid threw at us. It was difficult to meet up with my mentees as they were not on campus due to online learning so we did not have any face to face sessions after welcoming. This was challenging because it is hard to keep a solid rapport with someone if you can only do it via whatsapp or zoom. So i did not feel like i got to know my mentees on a personal level it was more just 'business'. I don;t think that i could have done anything different to change this because it was all out of our control. Iqould advise prospective mentors to not give up and keep on persevering even if your are not receiving any responses via the whatsapp group. the mentees still see your message and for all you know it could of been very helpful towards them and relevant to their current situation even if you don;t know. The most important thing as a mentor is not to give up on a relationship with your mentees it may feel one sided but it is important for them to know that there is at least someone out there who is available to help if needed.
Feedback from Equite
One of the most challenging parts has been communication through the WhatsApp group. A lot of the times I sometimes felt that I was putting in the work with minimal interest and participation. However I do understand these are uncertain times and some people may feel uncomfortable sending a message on the group. I think I personally needed to shorten my messages and kept it more to the point on the WhatsApp group. It was often long and contained a lot of information and I think this might of had an effect on participation. The other challenge is working on my own personal communication skills. I really had to push myself in order to engage my Mentees in conversation during Welcoming and I often felt I was running out of topics. I think I would be more prepared coming into welcoming. Having a little booklet with all fun sorts of get-to-know people questions and ask them. Another challenging part for me was to be aware of the communication through the phone during Welcoming. Sometimes things would change quickly and I would be late to relaying information because when in conversation with my mentees I don't tend to look on my phone. I need to work on shifting my focus sometimes. I would advise prospective mentors to plan well in advance for Welcoming to minimalize lengthy and daily messages on groups as this may be distracting to really get to know your group of mentees each individually. Really try to be there one-on-one as well.
Feedback from Equite
Time management was the most difficult aspect for me making time for each mentee recording mentor session and writing reflections. The online method also made it difficult for the students to actually reach you because you much rather be at home and do your own thing than be on a call. My advice would be to be more involved in their lives be more involved with each mentee and message them once or twice a week at least. Set 5 minutes a day and pick 2 mentees and just send a how are you message. I honestly feel I could have done a lot better if i had better time management and balance between academics and mentoring.
Feedback from Serruria
I don't think it is very challenging being a mentor however it is all about balance. You must be able to balance your mentees needs academics social activities and other things (fitness/hobbies). It becomes challenging when each facet of your life is demanding but you want to put all your focus by your role as a mentor. I think I immersed myself completely into the role that I forgot to/didn't have time to make time for myself during welcoming week. That is advice that I would give a new mentor give 100% to your mentees mentor team and your HK during welcoming week but don't let the hustle and bustle of that week take away from you caring for your own mental health and try to practice self-care. It is not an easy time for you as you are dealing with your mentee's emotional experiences feelings and situations most of the time. It does influence you; you feel the aftereffects but don't take it on personally as it saps your energy and affects your mental health too. I think time management and balancing my role as a mentor and academics was tough during the first semester. The jump from 1st to 2nd year is quite intense as the workload and standard of work is extremely grueling and requires a lot of time/effort constantly. As does your mentees and trying to find the equilibrium is difficult at times when you have a situation with a mentee and an essay that needs to be handed in the following day; then I would put my mentee first and my work second. That would be another piece of advice I would give learn to start in advance with any assignment or task you have due so that you are prepared with your academic deadlines and always able to give your mentees 100% too.
Feedback from Equite
The time that I felt challenged the most as a mentor was during Welcoming week, as it was a physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting time as a mentor having to do a lot of work behind the scenes in order for everything to run smoothly It was also challenging to deal with mentees not wanting to engage or rejecting the kindness and help you offer them Regarding these two challenges, there is nothing I would do differently, as I do believe that I gave it my all and did a good job in general, but I would advise prospective mentors to always look at the positive side of things- one out of the ten mentees pitched up? See that as a victory and focus your energy on making that one person's experience better
Feedback from Equite
For me the most challenging part was organizing the sessions with my mentees since we all had different schedules and whether it should be online or in person This was challenging because my mentees would agree then not show up and this was really upsetting for me When it comes to the session, I would only make the session either fully online or fully in person rather than giving them a choice due to, I think that caused a lot of confusion I would advise prospective mentors not to worry if their mentees don't show up or if only a few do because it is not their fault but also be more clear and not give their mentees many options for dates and time so that there isn't really to much choice
Feedback from Equite
The most challenging part was covid, my mentees not always being at the same place at the same time, so that made it difficult to get everyone together I would not stress as much if I had to do it all over again I would say, just enjoy every moment, don't worry about if you are going to say the rights things or that it won't be awkward, these things happen naturally
Feedback from Minerva
The most challenging part was definitely having to stay in touch with all your mentees and trying to balance your academic life I also found it challenging having to connect with a new mentee that joined after welcoming, since she wasn't part of the whole experience from the beginning Something I would do differently is definitely scheduling more times with my mentees, in order to make sure that you are constantly up tp date with them, because life can get hectic sometimes from both side and then one tends to miss catching up with them Something I would advise prospective mentors is to at least find a moment every month, even if it's once in a month to check up on every mentee, either do one on ones or do it as a whole group Also when you mentees need you urgently or asks your help with something, especially academics, try and help them as soon as possible
Feedback from Equite
The most challenging part of being a mentor would be to accept that you will not always be able to help or assist in all of the mentees problems For example, when a mentee is scared that they would not be able to pay the full amount of their degree and has been denied for a loan I struggled to accept that I did the most I can to advise the mentee to discuss the problem with the financial office I will definitely change the thought I had towards what the duties of a mentor is and how to handle certain situations with some of the mentees behaviors The best advise that I could give to the prospective mentors of Equite is to always ensure that you keep the mentees feelings and personal life in mind Not all the mentees came from the same circumstances or background and will affect how the mentees react towards certain situations
Feedback from Equite
The most challenging part was not becoming emotionally attached to my mentees To listen and to not give advice from an emotional state o not try and help them too much but to help them find solutions to the problemWhat I would do differently - I would definitely try to work on my emotional intelligenceAdvise prospective mentors- Self-awareness is so important Know your emotions and how to handle it
Feedback from Heemstede
The most challenging part for me was providing each mentee with equal amounts of attention It is easy to become subjective and neglect some mentees' problems for others, especially when it comes to newcomers who arrive later in the year, who you do not undergo welcoming week with I would make sure to check up on each mentee on a set basis and I would recommend future prospective mentors to do the same
Feedback from Equite
The challenging part of being a mentor is to be able to not take things personally Not everything that the mentees do or don't do is because of how you are towards them Another challenging part of being a mentor is being able to balance your professional and personal life in such a way that you are able to get to all your responsibilities and still be able to remain calm If I could've done anything differently, it would be not to take up everything so personally and I would also have communicated my feelings and worries more to my fellow team mates as they have told me to do For any prospective mentors, planning and communicating is key ! Learn to seperate the personal and professional and utilize your team mates if needed
Feedback from Equite
The most difficult part of being a mentor was not being able to fulfill my mentor duties because my newcomers were not interested and did not answer me or contact me It has been close to impossible to have mentor sessions because newcomers do not answer or do not pitch to the sessions Despite having over twenty-five newcomers, I could not do muchIf I had to do something differently it would be to adopt a different attitude towards mentoring and be thicker skinnedAdvice I would provide to prospective mentors is to not put too much pressure on themselves and just do their best At the end of the day, you can only do so much and as long as you have put in your bit, that is all that matters
Feedback from Nerina
I have definitely struggled to keep n contact with all my mentees I found it challenging to keep on checking up on them with and giving them each my time I would have made more of an effort every week to see them, and would have asked them to keep me accountable with regard to spending time with them and catching up
Feedback from Metanoia
The most challenging part of being a mentor was trying to guide our mentees through unprecedented times to which we, as mentors ourselves, were not certain as to what the best path is to take My advice to future mentors would be to be strong in your support of your mentees when guiding them is not easy We will not always have the answers but we will always have the ability to comfort and consol
Feedback from Metanoia
Trying to always comply with the covid protocols would definitely be the most difficult part and also trying to make the bewells as interesting and engaging as possible I would have probably tried to have more one on one engagements with my mentees and checked up on them more when it got to tough times in the terms like around exams
Feedback from Metanoia
The most challenging part was in welcoming week, when towards the end, I started getting very fatigued, very tired (on minimal sleep), and i felt i could not give the best version of myself to my mentees Another very challenging part was, as a mentor body, keeping united I felt there were cliques on the mentor body which threatened to divide us This was a challenge What i would do differently is devote more me-time to myself during welcoming week That was something i felt i did not do this year, and looking back, I did not do that What i would advise prospective mentors is to not take the role for granted: You still need to listen to the policies in place at your res/PSO even if you are a leader Yes, you may get fatigued, and yes, you might just need to release yourself, but you cannot forget that in COVID times, and with an alcohol ban in place in residences, you still need to adhere to this, because all eyes are on you and certain people will look for things to make you fall Furthermore, i would advise future mentors to give themselves, each day, time to themselves, especially during welcoming week Whether this is through watching an episode of a series, or reading a chapter of a book, it is good to spend some quality time with yourself It is vital for your mental health
Feedback from Metanoia
I think the most challenging part was setting boundaries I found myself offering up a lot of extra time to help with assignments, chores and things that in a sense are not part of the job description I never minded doing any of these things but they did take away time from things I needed to get done Were I to be a mentor ever again/What I would advise other mentors to do is to decide early on what they are comfortable with and clearly understand and communicate what their role as mentor is Stick to it
Feedback from Metanoia
I found the most challenging part to be an openness to being to being vulnerable with my mentees I found in order for my mentees to open up and let me know what they struggle with or need assistance with I had to express my own struggles to make them feel more comfortable This is not something i am always open to doing myself If i had to do things differently i would be very open with my mentees from the beginning ad would advise other prospective mentors to do the same
Feedback from Metanoia
The most challenging part was the perception I had of my mentees I thought of them as one of my children I had to realize that these gentlemen were grown men who are responsible for their decisions My job was just to show them the bigger picture of their actionsTreat your mentees as grown individuals
Feedback from Metanoia
Most challenging part for me is always adjusting to the new types of newcomers you can get They are never the same and as a result you need to be flexible My main issue is trying to integrate them well enough Advice I would give it just go with the flow You can't really control much in a job such as this one Every group is different from the next
Feedback from Serruria
I think for me personally it was the issues we had with our previous head mentor. It was straneous for myself and the other mentors. I think what should be done differently is the interviewing process and I advice prospective mentors to actively engage with communicating their expectations of the head mentor well in time.
Feedback from Equite
The most challenging part for me personally was by far enforcing COVID protocol constantly since I am a very affectionate person (and my more 'regular' mentees) just so happen to be affectionate as well. I would definitely try to encourage participation a bit more. Personally I do not think that it would have any effect on the attendance of my mentees concerning sessions however I would just be more confident that I did everything in my power to get them to the various sessions.
Feedback from Minerva
The most challenging part of being a mentor was definitely keeping myself accountable for all the things I planned to do at the beginning of the year and it was difficult to remain consistent. If there's something I would do differently I would make a list of my goals and my vision and put it on my wall to remember why I'm doing it. I would also not go into my team with preconceived ideas of my team.I would advise prospective mentors to be themselves and stay authentic.
Feedback from Serruria
I think juggling all my other responsibilities such as academics with mentoring is a challenging part. I feel like I definitely found a balance in that where I would set out certain times to connect with my mentees and work around that. Another challenge for me was to always ask questions because it's easy to just say Hope you are well instead of asking how they are. I really like to give advice and to help them like that instead of just listening and asking them questions to come to their own conclusion. However I think that I have definitely grown in asking more questions and listening attentively. This is all what I would do differently. Advice I would give to other mentors is to listen instead of speak and ask as many questions as you can so that they come to their own conclusion. One also needs to realise that as the year goes on they are less in need of many conversations so being adaptable to that is important.
Feedback from Nemesia
Struggles that I faced were the times that I was not able to answer some of their questions as I had not been in residence for the whole year and also had to adjust to everything that was changing. In the times that I did not have the answers I relied on my other mentors. I wish that I had spent more time with my mentees before classes started as everyone was busy after that and it is difficult to have sessions where everyone is available. I would advise prospective leaders to always be true to who they are and know that they have people around them that would support them when they struggle or feel overwhelmed.
Feedback from Nemesia
My girls really didn't engage with the programme. I had one mentee who was very enthusiastic and she and I actually became great friends. She is proof that the programme can work but only if you as a mentee apply yourself. There is nothing I could do differently three of my girls just didn't prioritise the programme and try as I might they often simply didn't show up to sessions. The one who always did benefited greatly from them and the two of them that were there every now and again always left the session feeling that they had gained something but uni life was too hectic for their own journeys to be a priority to them.
Feedback from Nemesia
The most challenging part about being a mentor is creating the time to have more mentor sessions with my mentees. I had to balance my academics and also my hockey schedule which would take a lot of my time. What I would do differently is try to get my hockey schedule in advanced so that I can plan much more ahead rather than waiting the week before. I would advice prospective mentors to make sure that their time management is on par and they are capable of juggling and working through their responsibilities.
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