Reflections 2021

Per Welcome Period Topic & Residence/PSO

Submissions/Reflections from Mentors per Residence and PSO

Topic: How do you think you think you refined and strengthened your "communication" skills during your term as a mentor? Please elaborate.

Feedback from Aurora

I've learned how to both be more specific with individuals and how to be more distanced and generalised with a group. It was a great learning experience.I am mor comfortable speaking in large groups also and have learned a lot.

Feedback from Capri

By having to talk to so many mentees to make them feel welcome I think I have developed a basic framework of things to talk about when talking to new people to get to know them better.

Feedback from Oude Molen

I felt I improved in my ability to communicate with people that think differently from me. By being naturally inquisitive but not nosy and friendly I found that people were more inclined to trust me and come to me for advice which is the main goal for me: to be approachable and helpful.

Feedback from Nerina

In terms of communication as I stated above I believe that it is vital for mentors to be raw and real with their mentees to share about themselves/what makes them who they are before expecting their mentees to possibly share. Trust is the key element in any relationship. In order to have open communication/feel comfortable sharing what is on our heart with somebody else we need to be able to put our trust in that somebody. Trust is earned and thus it is only through sharing our experiences/talking with our mentees about ourselves and what makes us (the mentor) who we are that we can build that trust and confidence. In my personal opinion I believe that there is no problem which cannot be solved by having an open dialogue with someone. If people had the courage to say what they wanted/needed to say to other people about how they are feeling instead of bottling said feelings up the world would be a much simpler place as there would be far less miscommunication heartache and confusion. Through this experience of being a mentor I truly learnt the value of say what you mean and mean what you say.

Feedback from Equite

I believe I refined my communications skills by verbalising more about my thoughts and plans with my mentor group. This is because often we had the same fears and feelings and the need was evident to comfort each other in knowing we all feel or felt the same at some point in time. I also refined my communication by taking others into consideration. This is because I had to be aware of their feelings thoughts and time that was being used and spoken about. I also believed that I refined my communication skilled by learning how to ask for help in situations where I did not have the best answers to give. Here my mentoring partner and I often helped one another out and brought the best out of each other. As a team through communication we could easily come up with the plans for each session and come up with ways to help each other out while facilitating the mentoring sessions.

Feedback from Nemesia

I think my communication improved due to both my relationships with my mentees as well as with my fellow mentors.Communication was vital with my mentees in order to understand and help them in emotionally and practically difficult situations. Unless they spoke and communicated with me I couldn't know or understand what they needed from me. So creating the space where they felt comfortable to share that with me definitely helped my communication skills.Mentoring can be very emotionally and mentally draining. But it was so amazing to have the love and support of my fellow mentors. Communication was needed for when a specific mentor was overwhlemed or in need of specific attention or support. This was me on various occasions and it was amazing to see that once I communicated my struggles the other mentors came around and supported me.

Feedback from Nemesia

communication was hard considering most of it had to happen online. When communicating we have to be aware if our messages are clear and affectively presented. with my mentees it was not to hard considering all of them lived om my floor and I could easily go to their rooms to talk or organize a meeting.

Feedback from Lydia

Having to wear masks all the time I as a mentor could not rely on facial ques anymore. You had to really listen to your mentee to get an understanding of what the issue was. I definitely think this strengthened my communication shills because I learned to listen more and only respond once the person was done talking. This also allowed me to respond to the problem and not just the persons emotions.

Feedback from Equite

I owe the strength in my communication skills to social media and other platforms. Many of mentoring sessions happened over WhatsApp and Teams which I tried to make very active and engaging despite technological challenges. I appreciated this as it was a way to avoid the challenges of COVID-19 lockdown while still keeping up with and engaging with my mentees. I was also able to refine my communication skills by regularly sending messages and not allowing a dead-end in communication within the WhatsApp group or between my mentees and myself. I always tried to initiate a conversation with them or send new messages in the group. Even if they did not reply I made sure to write messages to them and tell them that I am readily available for them to communicate with about anything. I also made sure to check up on people who were going through particularly difficult periods within their lives whether that be academics or within their personal lives. I also refined my communication skills by taking time to speak in ways that were not simply formal or academic. I tried to be relatable in that I sent memes or jokes so that the conversations could be more informal. I believed that by doing this coupled with creating a warm environment I was able to refine my communication skills by instilling a space where communication could be open and engaging.

Feedback from Hippokrates

I have a very tight circle of friends and I find myself not seeing the need to leave the security and comfort of talking to the very same people every single day. So being a mentor pushed me out of my comfort zone in the sense that now I had to talk to different sorts of people. Not just talk to them but try and communicate my ideas in a way that will be well received and hopefully met with a lot of enthusiasm. I just kept challenging myself to see how far we could take it as a group. Whether it was trying to get my mentees comfortable enough to share more aspects of themselves or trying to get them positive about the journey ahead after a long day of orientation week activities. I learned to be a lot more intentional and precise with the message I wanted to get across. We didn't get to spend a lot of time together especially during O week where we had tight slots and because I wanted them to also be able to share their experiences and speak I had to learn how to cut the fat from my speech and just keep it precise and to the point but still keeping the same impact.

Feedback from Equite

I am an upfront and honest person so I think I have learnt a lot about watching my tone when I speak because sometimes I tend to ramble so the message in my words tend to be misunderstood and some people take offence so I learnt a lot about the fact that my words do not matter if the tone is harsh. And I have also learnt that there can be a lot of miscommunications and misunderstandings so I have improved in relaying my true feelings in a respectful and empathetic manner of course. This does not just apply to my mentees but to my mentor team and the house committee as well. I have never been good at expressing how I feel as I have anxiety so it was great to get out of my comfort zone and it also provides a lot of clarity because others receive the communication so well and it also provides a learning curve. So mentorship has really equipped me to express myself without the fear that I will offend others or be perceived as complaining too much because everyone's feelings are valid the same goes for opinions. This also applies to me providing others with a platform to be able to communicate with me as well by being as honest and empathetic as I can be respectful as well as being a good listener which was a huge challenge for me but I have gotten so much better at as that is what my role as a mentor mostly involved.

Feedback from Nemesia

I had to adjust to my given circumstances and had to realize that different people communicate differently. Thus in order for all to feel welcomed I had to be more inclusive. I did this by firstly getting to know my mentee's and learning more about who they are. And that evidently helped me refine and adjust to the circumstances.

Feedback from Nemesia

I had to adjust to my given circumstances and had to realize that different people communicate differently. Thus in order for all to feel welcomed I had to be more inclusive. I did this by firstly getting to know my mentee's and learning more about who they are. And that evidently helped me refine and adjust to the circumstances.

Feedback from Equite

I have learned to inform my fellow mentors and leaders in advance if I can't make it to any meeting or event. Being a mentor to a group of 11 newcomers taught me to always be clear and concise with the information I share with them.

Feedback from Equite

Communicating when you can't handle the task given and need help from others in order to complete. This communication is important as you will burn out if you don't ask for that help. Popping your shy bubble and speaking to a bunch of random people has now become a skill as it was my duty as mentor to talk to people and make them feel welcome and accepted. Making conversation was a key aspect and assisted in the communication between my mentees helping them form bonds and forming the bond between mentor and mentee. You realize that people want to meet new people and make friends so I am now able to go to them and have a conversation.

Feedback from Osler

I think my communication skills improved since becoming a mentor. I am much better at listening actively during discussions to formulate better answers for my mentees. I also think I have more concise and effective conversations since we started using online platforms to communicate. I think I tried to involve everyone with discussions and also followed up on certain topics which I normally have no reason to. I am better at including everyone's opinions and answering everyone's questions as before I used to get sidetracked by one specific point.

Feedback from Nemesia

I think by being in a mentoring team you have to learn to communicate with those around you and your team. You have to be able to give feedback to your head mentor as well and coordinate your mentoring sessions with that of others.You also have to communicate with your mentees and give them support by communicating with them.Therefore I think by communicating with everyone around me including my team and my mentees I strengthened my communication skills.

Feedback from Silene

Because this year was all online except for welcoming i had to learn to be on top of my online communication. Whatsapp messages became extremely important more so this year than in previous years. So i had to improve my online communication. This meant that i had to be more concise with my words and be able to put everything as simply as possible. You have to think twice as hard about how you are going to relay certain messages because online you can;t always convey the exact emotion and don't have as much time to get the message across. So my communication skills definitely were upgraded.

Feedback from Equite

I think during Welcoming communication was something I really struggled with in terms of checking my phone for the latest updates and where I could help. However I realised that this was one of my weakpoints. I had to make it a mission to move away from the crowd just to check that all of the information is getting to my Mentees. Now I have to say I have improved on this it has now become a distinct action. That every morning and evening I check the groups for the latest dates and information that needs to be relayed. In training I was also extremely quiet I didn't necessarily raise my voice in terms with what I thought about a situation and I rather listened. Although I still consider listening one of my greatest strengths I have learnt this year that I need to voice my thoughts and feelings. End of welcoming I felt like I was more open to share in mentor and hc discussion & briefs. I learnt how to organise meetings via google forms and how to communicate with my mentees via that if they wanted to meet up and what they wanted to do. Mentoring has forced me to use these platforms and to realise that what I say can hold wait and sometimes it is better to speak up than to sit back and listen. I believe that my communication in terms of truly getting to know my Mentees has opened up so much more opportunities for discussion and communication.

Feedback from Equite

Personally I have bettered with communication skills in a sense that i felt more comfortable talking to people in any communicative way. Prior to the mentoring journey I would never call email or address people that I didn't know at least a little bit. I feel more comfortable with emailing and calling people and more confident in speaking to complete strangers. However my ability to communicate with my group did strain with the online version of mentoring especially with trying to keep a work life balance but as mentionedI really just tried to make them feel as welcome and valued as possible.

Feedback from Serruria

I started off by applying all the advice given to us in our mentor training this was an incredible help and it pushed me into the right direction when conducting conversations. I think it refined my social skills that I use when communicating I am by nature a very empathetic and friendly person. I do however tend to babble and forget to stop and this aspect was refined by using the techniques we learnt in the training. I learnt to listen intently when my mentees spoke and allow them to feel their emotions and discuss it openly. This helped a lot as my mentees felt comfortable to share and the conversations flowed easily as we bounced off each other. I also strengthened my skills of being impartial unbiased and respectful of others opinions during mentor meetings with our team.

Feedback from Equite

Having to have sealed with a big group of mentees, I realised quickly that one way of communicating would not fit everyone, and I had to change my approach as to suit each mentee individually If I realised that one mentee was chatty and wanted to know everything about everything, I would math their energy, but if another would get irritated by too much chatter and information, I would tone it done around them I developed the valuable skill of listening as the most important part of communication

Feedback from Equite

I noticed that I would tell my mentees so much information at once and so I decided that I needed to be more concise and direct rather than spilling so much information on them In some of my session, I could see that some of my mentees were bored and so I decided that I must have more interactive sessions where it is a discussion rather than me speaking I think I strengthened my communication skills in terms of that I had talk and interact with different people from myself and so I realized, I had be more clear as well considerate of what I said so that I did not offend anyone I didn't think that I could improve my communication skills and I am glad that I did because it has impacted the way I communicate in my daily life

Feedback from Equite

My communication skills was sharpened throughout being a mentor I had to adjust and with covid and find ways to get everyone together this took a lot of planning and communicating every time we wanted to meet and I had to learn to talk to anyone about anything and always be ready if one of my mentees needed to chat to someone

Feedback from Minerva

When I meet new people I tend to be an introvert, so I tend to talk less, but being a mentor allowed me to get out of shell and gave me the opportunity to get to know and talk to new people I was able to communicate and voice the way I feel about certain things regarding mentoring with new people, people I never thought I would communicate with on such a scale I also refined and strengthened my communication skills by listening more to others and how they feel, since becoming listener helped me to be an effective communicator

Feedback from Equite

I most definitely strengthened my communication skills during my term as a mentor due to the effect of Covid-19 Because we were forced to move into hybrid or online communication it allowed me to become more technology friendly I became more knowledgeable about how to work with different sources such as Zoom and MS Teams We became creative about how to present a session as it can get boring to present all the sessions in the same manner I also learned a lot from my mentees and how to keep their attention during BeWell sessions

Feedback from Equite

How i strengthened my communication skills: Because of COVID 19, I could not meet up with my mentees in persona but rather online Kept in touch on our group and individually I also realised the power of communication it most important on how we use our words I become more aware of the way o speak to my mentees and how important it was to have effective communicate skills

Feedback from Heemstede

I think my communication skills have improved Firstly, I have learnt how to communicate with fellow leaders better by voicing my opinions and listening to others The fact that we operated as a team enforced clear communication I have also learnt to listen to my mentees better and to try and put myself in their shoes I think this skill of empathy has enabled me to identify and interact with them on a higher level

Feedback from Equite

I think that I have refined and strengthened my communication skills during my term as a mentor I feel that as a leader I have always had the skill of communication, but since it was the first time that I have found myself in a leadership position within a large leaderships structure and within times of which everything is made a bit more challenging due to Covid-19 It was also the first time that I had been put in a leadership position within the University structure, so it took some getting used to Being open towards my team mates about how I was feeling personally and coping with this new structure aswell as being about towards them throughout any problems that we might've faced or conflicts that we might have faced was also something that I needed to work on to insure that everyone felt included and heard throughout this time period

Feedback from Equite

I think that I have become a lot more diplomatic in my approach to communicating with my newcomers and fellow mentors I have not been able to do much with regards to being mentor due to the current situation and not seeing my mentees much, but I tried my best I have learned that less is more and I need to be very straightforward in my communication with others

Feedback from Nerina

I have definitely had to priorities my communication over the phone through platforms like WhatsApp I am known to be bad on my phone and take a while to respond to messages, but being a mentor and living in times like lockdown and being online I have had to force myself to be better with responding to messages and being more intentional with the messages I send on our mentee group and to my individual mentees

Feedback from Metanoia

I think my communication skills were vastly improved thanks to my term as a mentor Being in a team with such fantastic leaders has taught me so many lessons which are incredibly valuable in my life outside of mentorship - one of those skills being communication Being able to articulate your point clearly and listening to others became vital in many discussions about COVID-19 protocols and therefore my communication skills were definitely refined

Feedback from Metanoia

I definitely learnt that silence is not always a bad thing and I should be scared of it Often in bewells people don't want to engage on a topic and sometimes that's okay because they thinking about it more than feeling the need to say what's on their minds I also realised that sharing my own experiences helped my mentees share theirs Making myself vulnerable around them showed them that I am just like them and that they can trust me just like how I trust them

Feedback from Metanoia

By being an active listener, in which i listened very attentively to what people were saying, this helped advance my communication skills Furthermore, I have learnt how vital it is to communicate to everybody what is going on If you do not do this, you will end up playing broken telephone where you hear different pieces of information from different people This is not what you want Communication skills are a vital component to ensuring a smooth running mentor body In previous leadership positions I have been in, I tended to not always communicate with fellow leaders, particularly if I was stressed I used to bottle up my emotions or not have my say in what I felt should be done because I was very introverted Being a mentor has developed this aspect of myself I now, always communicate to my fellow mentors what I am feeling, ensuring that everyone understands what is required of them It has shown how it is important to be clear in what you are saying, so that everyone is on the same page, and henceforth know their roles My communication, as a result, has developed for the better The way i learnt to communicate more with my fellow leaders, is through education: I googled and read up a lot on the key techniques of communication, watched TedTalks on listening skills and communication, and rea up on how important communication is This has helped me strengthen my communication skills

Feedback from Metanoia

I learned how to articulate myself more directly I often try to dance around problems as I am quite non-confrontational Although I would not say I became confrontational in any sense (or that there was ever any drama), I learned how to address any problems that arose directly, openly and concisely

Feedback from Metanoia

I found my communication skills to be refined in that i can now communicate effectively with a much wider group of people I have often struggled to engage properly with people with backgrounds very different to my own Through being mentor i think i have refined this skill by seeing the importance of actively listening and understanding many people, although very different, will still have a lot to relate to with eachother

Feedback from Metanoia

There had been a period where my mentees were so busy that there was no time to actually have a BeWell meeting Some of my mentees weren't even in res at the time I mean in between Clayton just wanting to be in his room, Zack, Cade and Nash were always wanting to chase the vibe of the res, Scott always had First team Maties hockey practice and Marcus just always wanted to be with his significant other I had to capitalize on the fact that no matter how busy one getsone has to be on their cellular device at some point I decided to do a conference video call over Whatsapp where I held a to-the-point BeWell meeting just to check up on how they were actually doing Turns out my mentees were transitioning and integrating with Metanoia regardless of the covid protocol obstacleNO doubt that if covid was not a thing, the rest of Metanoia would enjoy the place even more

Feedback from Metanoia

The app provided really gave things to talk about and really opened up the space in times where you wouldn't be too sure on what to chat about

Feedback from Serruria

I think through listening - quite ironic. Listening is on the other end of communication; it is not just back of forth conversation. Listening transformed the way we communicated as it elevated simple communication to active communication.

Feedback from Equite

My communication skills during the Welcoming period improved immensely (especially after the long period of being cut-off from society in first year and my social skills deteriorating). I learned how to express myself better and use 'to-the-point' vocabulary as I am aware that I do talk more than what is necessary sometimes. I wanted to avoid boring my mentees and having them miss important information due to them drifting off as a consequence of me not knowing when to stop talking.

Feedback from Minerva

I was generally a good communicator before I became a mentor however I had to learn to not only communicate with my mentees and my mentor team. I had to communicate with my house mother and the house Committee as well. It wasn't a two way relation it had many streams and I had to make sure everyone was aware of everything at all times.

Feedback from Serruria

I strengthened my communication skills in two ways. Firstly I learnt to be specific and firm in my communication regarding meetings and get togethers. I would always send messages and say the time and date and ask if they can make it however no one would respond. I learnt that I must then just set a date and time and accept that some people just won't come and I can't please everyone if they do not provide suggestions. Secondly I learnt that listening is as important as talking. It is so important to just listen and not listen to reply. This really makes a difference because mentees will feel like they are coming to their own conclusion and they have someone who really just listens to them. Previously I would always listen to reply and I have now developed a skill to just listen attentively.

Feedback from Nemesia

Being a mentor has definitely helped me strengthen my communication skills as I had to actively listen to my mentees concerns and issues and had to give them advice to the best of my ability. I learned that others have opinions that are going to differ from mine and I learned how important respect is towards others. Times I had to use communication skills were when my mentees as roommates had issues or when they asked for my advice and what I would do in specific situations. Being part of a mentor team has also strengthened my communication skills significantly as I had to respect others and listen to them actively to be able to work together.

Feedback from Nemesia

Being a mentor has made me much more aware of how my words and actions effect other people. I have learned to make fewer assumptions and rather ask more questions if I think that someone is saying something harmful. I pay more attention to the way I move through the world. With mentoring it is important to know what your impact is even if the intention is good. You are helping vulnerable young newcomers adapt to a place that is totally new where everyone else already has friends and al living well and look like they have it figured out. You must be sensitive to the fact that they may feel othered if you talk about things that they don't have experience about like they should know what you mean.

Feedback from Nemesia

In general I would already consider myself someone who has good communication skills so to enhance this I think I did this by being more readily available whether it be on my phone or in my room. I would also let it be known that I am a very easy and approachable person to interact and communicate with. I would do this by sending random messages and things like that.

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