Nangona kuncomeka nje ukuthi cwaka, maxawambi kungangonwabisi

Op 27/11/2019 geplaas · In Artikels in Xhosa, Dialogos geplaas

Kwabaninzi ixesha lemibhiyozo yangeeholide zehlobo lihambisana kunye neentlangano zosapho. Kwangaxeshanye, kungumthetho ongabhalwanga ukuba uzakuphikisana nesalamane esingasondelanga kuwe okanye – okubi nangakumbi –nisuke nje niphelelwe zizinto eninokuzithetha. Kutsho kuthi cwaka kuphel’ ulonwabo…

Ngo-2010, abaphandi-nzulu beYunivesithi yaseGroningen ababeqwalasele umba ongokuthi cwaka ngelixa kuncokolwa baye bafumanisa ukuba kuthatha malunga nemizuzwana emine ukuba ukuthi cwaka kunganyamezeleki. Kuzakuthiwani ke ngoku?

Ukuphengulula i-intanethi ufuna izisombululo zokuthintela ukuthi cwaka okwenza ukungonwabi kuveza imfumba yeziphumo, kodwa iimpendulo zivamise ukugxila kwiincoko kunye nabantu ongabaziyo okanye abantu osebenza nabo, hayi amalungu osapho lwakho. Oku ngonwabi kungaqina nangakumbi xa ubuza uMzala uLee ukuba “Usuka phi umthetho wakho?” okanye, “Uzokwenza ntoni apha?”.

Kodwa noxa kunjalo zikhona iimbono ezintle kumanye amanqaku, njengecebo lencutshe yonxibelelwano uVictor Sander lokusebenzisa ‘imibuzo engowena’. Elona cebo apha kukubuza imibuzo enegama elingu’wena’ kuyo, umzekelo “Yintoni oyenzayo wena ngexesha lakho ongasebenziyo ngalo?”. USanders uthi ngokwenza oku ubonakalisa umdla kolo mntu uthetha naye, nto leyo ivamise ukwenza ukuba lo mntu uthetha naye azinikele ngakumbi kwincoko yenu.

UMelissa Dahl, umbhali kaCringeworthy: A Theory of Awkwardness, yena ucebisa ukuba ukuthi cwaka akuyonto ifanele ukuba yoyikwe. UDahl waye wafumanisa ukuba isizathu sokuba ukuthi cwaka kuvakale kungonwabisi kukuba kukho amaqondo aphezulu okungaqiniseki. Abantu bavamise ukungayithandi into yokungayazi into elandelayo abazakuyenza okanye abazakuyithetha. Xa ukwazi oko, kusele nje ukuba ufumane into ozakuqiniseka ngayo kuphela…

Qiniseka ukuba usapho lwakho luyakuthanda, qiniseka ukuba ayomini yakho yokuhlamba izitya, kwaye yazi ukuba emva kwenye iglasi yewayini, uMakazi uRachel uzakuqalisa ukuthetha ngenja yakhe.